Disturbia!!

CHAPTER I

PROBLEM

I don't know what's happening to me of late..I have left reason and logic has abandoned me as a sort of retaliation. It's hurting me from the inside..I have never been in this mental state before..for I know what to do in order to get out of this situation..but strangely enough, I'm waiting for chance to turn my fate into something better. It's a huge risk, in that my life and my career depends on the decisions I make now. I have some pretty promising things happening for me, things that are in my control, but control is something I don't have over myself. It's been a pretty long time since I had a peaceful sleep. I fear getting turned into someone who does not know himself. This is actually bad ..because, it's like I am sitting right in front of the control button with the power to do what I want to do and get to where I want to be, but I'm not doing anything about it. It seems as though my mind is paralyzed. There are things that I want to do, but I am avoiding them for no reason as such. This is annoying!!

CHAPTER II

ANALYSIS

Third week of Jan '07...(can't remember the exact date)..but this was the first indication of things to come. Something happened which I am too shameful to disclose. That triggered the snowballing laziness.

And it gets even worse in that I know the solution to my problem..and I am only shying away from it..for reasons I can't explain..not even to myself..and I am ashamed to say that.

I need to act fast..or else I am sure I WILL LOSE MYSELF..and I cannot let that happen...I cannot live with that guilt.

26 Cheers
Brijesh